The New Self-Care Term to Use

Recently, I was discussing self-care in our Thrive Rx community. I know the term self-care is thrown around a lot and is often thought of as the occasional pedicure, massage or facial. 

But it's so much more than that. I can tell you just how important it is and how when we do not take time for it, we exhaust ourselves more and more.

I burned myself out after becoming a mommy doc trying to be a superwoman at work and supermom at home. I burned the candle at both ends, the first one up and the last one to bed, and buffered away negative feelings with Netflix and ice cream. 

That is why I stopped calling it self-care and now call it self-stewardship instead. 

Just like we must be a good steward of our car, our home and our money, we must also be good stewards of the body and mind we have been given to house our soul. 

Just like taking care of your car or home is not optional, self-stewardship truly is a non-negotiable for all of us.

For me self-stewardship is about things much more integral than the occasional spa day.

Don't get me wrong. I love going to the spa and also getting my nails done. But that monthly or bimonthly ritual doesn't suffice. 

Self-stewardship is about getting the sleep, nutrition, exercise, and water your body needs every day. It's about doing the journaling, thought work, meditation, therapy or coaching you need to feel your best mentally on a regular basis. It's about getting that R and R by taking downtime for yourself on days off and taking those vacations too.

Watch the FREE End Burnout Without Quitting Mini Training by clicking here. 

You see, we cannot give or pour from an empty cup, that is for sure. When we attempt to, we run on fumes of resentment and obligation. And I would argue it is not true giving when we do so with those feelings in our hearts.

True giving comes when we give from the overflow of abundant energy. 

Now I am not here to guilt you or shame you for not prioritizing self-stewardship. That is the last thing we need, but I am here to ask you to look at your thoughts and consider what you might be thinking that keeps you from taking time for yourself:

Perhaps you are thinking:

• It is selfish to take time for myself
• There is too much to do to stop for self-care
• Other things and other people need to come first before me
• Women must sacrifice themselves for others
• We doctors are superhuman. (Many of us were taught that in med school and residency in subtle ways when we were told to ignore our bodily needs for food and sleep at times.)

I ask you to see how those thoughts make you feel, what actions they lead you to take, and ultimately what result you are getting thinking those. 

What I have found for myself is that when I used to think self-care was selfish, I would feel resentful of the things keeping me from it. That would lead me to do things out of obligation. And not taking time for self-stewardship led me to have a pessimistic attitude at home and work. I would also do just the bare minimum because I felt low on energy. The result was that I showed up as selfish, which was the complete opposite of how I wanted to show up. 

When I changed that thought to:

• self-stewardship is never selfish 
• self-care is also other and community care 

I started to take more time for my morning self-stewardship routine. Then I could show up as the calm, collected, loving mom, wife, and doctor that I wanted to be. I would then go above and beyond the expectations and contribute more than needed as well. I was able to show up more selflessly and give to my family, patients and community better because I had an abundance of energy  and joy to give from. 

So, Mama Doc, I ask you what thoughts do you have about self-stewardship and how might those thoughts be impacting you and those around you?

Also how would calling it self-stewardship change the way you take time for yourself?

Need help with self-stewardship and prioritizing your own wellbing? Join in the Thrive Rx Community and Membership and we'll teach you a 6 Minute Morning Miracle routine and how to also become the CEO of your life.