The Two Most Powerful Words: How "I Am" Shapes Your Reality

As doctors, we've all had patients who say things like:

"I always get a sinus infection this time of year."
"I've had a bad back my whole life."
"Over-the-counter pain relievers don’t work for me."
"I am an insomniac."

And as physicians, we can’t help but think—how much of this is factual, and how much is their brain reinforcing their belief?

We know about the placebo effect—the phenomenon where patients experience real symptom relief simply because they believe they’re receiving an effective treatment. Studies have shown that about 30–40% of patients improve with placebos alone, even when they’re taking a sugar pill. But what’s just as fascinating (and concerning) is the nocebo effect—when a person experiences negative effects simply because they expect to.

A study published in Science Translational Medicine found that when participants were told that a cream would cause pain (even though it was just a neutral lotion), their brain activity showed real pain responses. MRI scans revealed increased activation in the brain’s pain-processing centers, proving that expectation alone can create physical pain.

How Negative Self-Talk Affects Your Health

If our patients’ beliefs can influence their health outcomes, what about our own beliefs?

When my kids come home with a cold, I used to think, Great, now I’m going to get sick too. And guess what? I usually did. 

But then I started shifting my self-talk. Now, I say to myself: I have a strong immune system, and I’m running the program of health. And now I rarely catch their cold or flu viruses. 

Sounds far fetched? Maybe. But research backs this up. A study in Psychological Science found that people who believed their immune system was strong actually produced more antibodies when exposed to a virus than those who believed they were prone to illness.

The Power of “I Am” Statements in Shaping Your Identity

In the Cars movies, the main character Lightening McQueen tells himself a key phrase before starting any race: "I AM speed." 

Truly, the two most powerful words in shaping our identity and reality are “I am.”

Whatever follows those words isn’t just self-talk—it’s programming. Our subconscious brain takes it as a directive and works to make it true.

As parents, we know this instinctively. A child who’s constantly told, You’re lazy or You’re clumsy starts to embody that identity. But when we tell them, You’re smart, strong, and capable, we see them rise to those words.

The same applies to us.

How to Shift Your Identity and Reduce Burnout

For my physician clients struggling with burnout, I encourage them to stop saying, I am burnt out. Because that phrase makes burnout an identity rather than a temporary state. Instead, I have them describe what they’re actually feeling:

"I feel overwhelmed, exhausted, stretched too thin."

Feelings are temporary and manageable and can be processed. But when we make burnout our identity, we reinforce the cycle, finding evidence of our burnout or showing up exhausted and overwhelmed, thereby making it harder to recover.

Rewiring Self-Talk for Weight Loss and Healthy Habits

For my weight loss clients, I see this frequently in statements like:

"I have a sweet tooth."
"I’m a chocoholic." 

I remind them—that’s not who they inherently are. That’s just an optional identity they’ve taken on, and one they can let go of. When they stop repeating these statements, they often feel less compelled to reach for sweets and their sweet cravings diminish. Why? Because their subconscious brain is no longer working to prove those words true.

How to Reprogram Your Self-Talk for Success

1. Catch your “I am” statements. Pay attention to what you’re reinforcing. Do you have a negative expectancy? Are you saying things like I’m always exhausted or I never have time for myself? These become self-fulfilling prophecies.
2. Reframe your self-talk. Instead of I’m so out of shape, try I’m getting fitter and stronger every day. Instead of I’m bad at time management, try I’m getting better at how I choose to use my time. 
3. Speak to yourself like you would your best friend. If a friend said, “I’m terrible at public speaking,” you wouldn’t say, “Yeah, you should probably just avoid it.” You’d remind them, “You’re gaining experience, and each time you do it, you’re getting better.” Give yourself that same grace."

Final Thoughts: Take Control of Your Story

Our words are powerful. What we tell ourselves, our brain works to make true—whether it's helpful or harmful. So let’s choose words that work in our favor.

What “I am” statement are you ready to let go of? And what new one will you replace it with?

Ready to shift your identity and self-talk so that you can achieve lasting weight loss? Apply for a spot in my Mama Docs Weight Loss Accelerator.